She WILL Overcome

Last night, Marty and I went to our favorite Friday night hang, Cheesecake Factory. We go there because, if we get there early, we can find a high top table at the bar, settle in, order a couple of drinks, and chill. It's easy. No waiting and no sitting elbow-to-elbow with screaming kids in high chairs.

We're creatures of habit, really. We walk in, scope out the bar scene, and hope that "our" table will be available. It's the one that's not too close to the entrance, yet not too far on the other end -- the one that makes for the best vantage point to people watch -- specifically, the second one from the right. Funny. Now that I think about it, I do the same thing at the gym -- the same treadmill or elliptical or bicycle and not the one on the end, usually the second one from the end. Hmmmm . . . that's a little OCD, but I'll save that for a different blog.

Our favorite part of our excursion to Cheesecake really isn't sitting at "our" table, it's not the appetizers, and no . . . it's not even the cosmos . . . it's our waitress, Jenny. Last night, she bargained with the other waiter so she could have our table. That's the kind of relationship we have with her.

Jenny reminds us of Abby, the forensic scientist on NCIS. Abby is this sort of goth chick who definitely marches to her own beat. Like Abby, Jenny wears her jet black hair pulled back in a ponytail or two with very distinct bangs. She also shaves her eyebrows (I think) and then draws them on, unless maybe they're tattooed but I don't think so. But, now that I think about it, they're really quite precise. Could be that she's just a good draw-er. Unlike Abby, she has no visible tattoos (well, maybe. . . except for her eyebrows but I'm fairly sure they were shorter last night) or piercings. Jenny stands out in a crowd. Jenny is different. I love that about her.

Marty and I have had long talks with her (well, as long as she can get a way with while she's waitressing). She told us that she's going to school and wants to be a teacher because she had horrible experiences as a kid. She went on to describe the time that she decided to shave her head and the

school administration, in all their wisdom, put her on independent study, removing her from the mainstream. As an educator, I know there are two sides to every coin, but this is Jenny's perception and to her it's real. And, let's face it, in our screwed up system, it is possible that she was kicked out merely for shaving her head. Who's to say?

Our heart goes out to Jenny. Funny. In some ways, I can feel the mother in me, and yes, even the father in Marty, come out. Here's a young woman, who is brave enough to wrap her arms around who she is and pursue her dreams -- dreams that are very likely sparked by her differences. It makes me think. How many kids, and even adults, are out there and unlike Jenny, they don't have that "I shall overcome" attitude? They're the ones that feel like they're on the outside looking in. Looking in to a world, a life, that's very different than theirs. How many times do we judge without really knowing? More often than I care to admit.

We don't really know Jenny, but I can guess that she's had some hard knocks. Our Jenny is quirky, bright, and hilarious. When we left last night, she said, "I love you guys. Keep looking for me."

We love you, too, Jenny.